Fuckwits’ Opinions Valued at $100 Billion
This photo is worth $1.39
THE inane thoughts of the feeble-minded have been valued at $100 billion, it has been announced.
Facebook filed for an initial public offering (IPO) on Wednesday that values the social network between $75 billion and $100 billion, putting it on track to become one of the highest valued companies in the world, despite the fact that its main asset is the badly spelt musings of the type of people who enjoy agricultural simulation games.
Financial analysts predict this will see the emergence of fucking stupid opinions as a major commodity on the stock market alongside gold, silver and oil.
David Solomons from Whiteman Richman Capital said:
“A status update quoting overwrought song lyrics is valued at $1, a user telling their partner that they love them in a public message at $1.16, and a pouting self-taken photo of a user’s ‘good side’ is worth $1.39.”
Investors will also be able to buy and sell Facebook users’ friendships. ”The next time you accept a friendship request from a Mancunian builder who fingered you on the beach in Ibiza one night, the value of Facebook will increase by 46 cents,” he added.
