Britain’s Got Talent’s Pudsey beds Saturdays’ Frankie Sandford
PUDSEY the dog and the Saturdays star Frankie Sandford have spent a raunchy night of passion together, SelebSpy can exclusively reveal. Hours after being crowned winner of Britain’s Got Talent on Saturday, the performing pooch ROMPED with pop babe Frankie who he had just met at the show’s after party at London’s Dorchester Hotel. A close pal of the 23-year-old singer said: “Everyone was all over Pudsey at the party, he had his pick of the ladies. But despite... Read More
Sussex woman arrested over sham marriage plans
A 33-year-old local woman has been arrested for planning to act as a sham bride in order to help an immigrant remain in the country, The Sussex Times reports. Katie Price, an out-of-work mother of three, was arrested at her home in Shipley after UK Border Agency officers became suspicious over the authenticity of her relationship with her purported Argentinian “fiancé” Leandro Penna, 26. Suspicions were raised over the age difference between the two, and the fact... Read More
Fuckwits’ Opinions Valued at $100 Billion
THE inane thoughts of the feeble-minded have been valued at $100 billion, it has been announced. Facebook filed for an initial public offering (IPO) on Wednesday that values the social network between $75 billion and $100 billion, putting it on track to become one of the highest valued companies in the world, despite the fact that its main asset is the badly spelt musings of the type of people who enjoy agricultural simulation games. Financial analysts predict this will see the... Read More
Review ordered into safety of Katie Price’s breasts
A GOVERNMENT review into the safety of Katie Price’s breasts is to be carried out amid fears they could pose a public health risk, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley has announced. Concerns over the safety of implants used in cosmetic procedures have swept Europe following the discovery that French manufacturer Poly Implant Prostheses (PIP) used cheaper industrial silicone instead of legally-required medical grade silicone. Over 50,000 women in Britain are estimated to have... Read More
HMV GAFFE CAUSES UNDESERVED SMUGNESS AMONG TWITTER USERS
A SIMPLE mistake by an administrator of the HMV website has led tens of thousands of morons to triumphantly proclaim “I told you the X Factor was a fix!” on Twitter. Yesterday evening a page temporarily appeared on the music giant’s online store allowing customers to pre-order X Factor contestant Amelia Lily’s “winner’s single” despite the fact the final of the competition will not take place until this Saturday. Within minutes, huge... Read More
Tram Woman to collaborate with Morrissey on new album
MORRISSEY has invited that drunk, racist tram woman to collaborate with him on his new album, it has been announced. Tram woman, whose name has not yet been released but whom everyone agrees looks like a Tracy, is understood to be in talks to duet with the former Smiths frontman on a song titled This is Our British Country, inspired by the 34-year-old mother’s outburst on the Croydon Tramlink in south London. Tram woman became an overnight star earlier this week after grainy footage... Read More
Twitter glitch prompts mass suicide
THOUSANDS of distraught Twitter users took their own lives last night, after a major glitch on the site wiped their accounts. A large number of users logged on to the popular microblogging site on Tuesday evening to find their ‘followers’ and ‘following’ lists reset to zero. Horrified by the idea that no one would be reading the running commentaries of their bowel movements or their insightful comments on how the X Factor is fixed, several thousand affected... Read More
Rihanna version 2.0 capable of releasing one album per month
THE technology company that built Rihanna has announced a major upgrade to her operating system, increasing her musical output capabilities to one album per month. Since her initial power up in 2005, Rihanna has been programmed to release one album each year and one single every eight weeks, the maximum workload her CPU can handle at optimum performance. However during the past year, manufacturers REVolution Robotics have come under increasing pressure from Rihanna’s record... Read More
Frankie Cocozza thrown off X Factor for making it slightly interesting
FRANKIE Cocozza was kicked off the X Factor because he risked making the show vaguely interesting, Seleb Spy has learnt. The cocky aspiring rocker was ordered to leave the show by producers yesterday after news of his hard-partying antics threatened to break the mind-numbing monotony of this year’s series of the hit ITV singing competition. Following several scandals on last year’s X Factor surrounding raunchy performances by stars including Rihanna and Christina... Read More
Listening to Justin Bieber can cause pregnancy, doctors warn
TEEN sensation Justin Bieber is able to impregnate women using only his angelic voice, a group of leading doctors have warned. The American College of Physicians were investigating claims that the 17-year-old Canadian heart-throb fathered a child with a fan backstage at one of his concerts when they made the startling discovery. The accusations, levelled by American Mariah Yeater, 20, have been vehemently denied by the star who branded them “crap”. However, Yeater... Read More
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Gaddafi hires Cheryl Cole’s PR company
Katie Price’s new magazine
